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This month, Peas

There’s an hilarious tape that’s been making the rounds for decades*. Actor/director Orson Welles is reading voiceovers to picture for some food spots. The copy is bad, the agency direction is worse, and Welles is not suffering fools that day. The third script is so ludicrous he gives up, and storms out of the studio.

Most people know this tape as “In July, Peas Grow There”. The agency gives a particularly bad direction for reading those words. Welles challenges them to say it the way they’re asking. He also makes a rather strange offer if they succeed.

Take a listen. Even if you’ve heard it before, it’s worth listening to this version… I cleaned it up (technically; not for content) and it sounds better than most version that are on the Web. You’ll also hear some examples of things to avoid in your own sessions.

This tape was circulating long before the Web was born - I got my copy from another engineer more than 30 years ago. And it’s so well known in the industry that it’s still being parodied.

The Animaniacs (a kids’ cartoon) did their version in the 90s. You might be able to still find it on Youtube.

It’s also been spoofed on Matt Groening’s series The Critic, and a bunch of other shows.

I refer to it in my parody of agency voice-over sessions, produced in 1981 and circulating underground since then.  In 2005, artist Alan Rhodes sent me a link to his 3-minute dance-mix version.

The Tutorial

Directing commercial voice-overs is an art, even if it’s one those Brits never mastered. A few things they didn’t do, that you should:

• Read the copy aloud, before you even show it to your clients. The phrase “Crumb-Crisp Coating” - which causes Welles so much grief - should never have been there at all.

• Time your copy to the picture, before you ask anyone to read it. That’s what scratch tracks are for.

• Don’t stare at the script during each take! Listen to the voice, and look at pix. That way you’ll avoid asking for things that the talent’s already given you.

• Don’t give a direction if you don’t know yourself what it’s supposed to sound like. It’s great to let talent surprise you with something better than you imagined. It’s not okay to go on a fishing expedition.

• If you’re working with talent who has good directing chops themselves… let them help. Pretty voices are a dime a dozen. Pretty voices connected to thinking brains are rare.

The Personal Anecdote

Back when I was younger and more clueless, I did a lot of voice-over directing for ad agencies. I was lucky enough to work with Jack Lemmon, James Earl Jones, Christopher Reeve (I nearly blew his session, but that’s for another entry) and some lesser talents whose names you’d also recognize.

At one point, a large New York agency offered me a producing job that would have required directing Orson Welles in a series of commercials. Of course I was familiar with the “In July” tape. I turned down the gig.

Later in my career, I had a chance to edit a few projects with Welles as the voiceover, recorded elsewhere. So I listened to the outtakes and chatter from the session, hoping to find another gem. No luck: he was relaxed, gracious, and occasionally hilarious. Maybe I should have taken that NY job.

* The Note:

Wikipedia says the Welles tape originated in the 1980s. Not only did I get my copy long before that; I’ve heard the tape spoofed on the British radio series I’m Sorry I’ll Read That Again… which was produced between 1965 and 1973.

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